Drawn together
by squarecreatures
Summary: A little steamy one shot. Humanity-less Elena coping with being around Stefan, their encounter in his room proves that she still feels something and Stefan tries his best to bring her back to reality. Please review, I love em all. :)
1. Chapter 1

I'd like to say that it was because i needed a change of clothes that made me come in here. But the truth is, is that I heard him turn the shower on about 5 minutes ago and it sparked that interest in me again. He always spent so long in there, and if i listened really hard i could hear him sigh in content as the warm water rushed off his back. I could hear his fingers run through his hair, relaxing him. The sounds seemed so close and descriptive that I could nearly paint a picture of him in my head. A light thud sounded, and I knew he was using a hand on the tiles to keep his body upright, his head hanging down as the cascade weaved through his silky hair and over his eyes. Mouth open, I knew he could taste water, he let it pass around his lips and leave at his nose as it flowed over his face. His eyes were probably closed, but I could only guess.

It interested me how he spent so long in there, how he seemed to enjoy how the water made him feel. I can remember, what seems like a long time ago, counting down the hours until I could a get a good 20 solid minutes in the shower to just stand there and let the spray cleanse me. But now, all I can think of the abominable chore that showering is, how quickly I can get it done, what excuse I can make not to take one if not necessary, because what a complete waste of time that would be. I just get no pleasure from it, I couldn't care less how warm the water is, or how it makes my skin feel. I simply just want to get it over with.

During that thought I had mechanically made my way into his room. Such a silly waste of space, I guffed to myself silently angry for even letting myself see how he lived, looking at all his belongings on the table. Shards of paper that looked about 50 years old and probably meant nothing, especially to him. It angered me that he felt the need to hold on so much, why couldn't he just let go? I could feel my teeth wearing my lip and I suddenly wanted to march into the bathroom and rip down the shower curtain so I could tell him what a waste this all was. His room, his things, everything he kept from my human memory. Why would he want those things?

I realised why I had suddenly felt so angry, and I rolled my eyes. Every time I turned, that picture of him and I mocked at me from my peripheral. We both looked so happy, we look so...normal, but I'm way too far away from that memory to even want to think about what we lost. That was a lifetime ago... yeah...just leave it Elena.

I cocked my head to the side thinking I heard something a little more interesting coming from the bathroom, holding my breath for a few seconds I heard it again. A hushed gasp coming from the shower, I had heard it before and it wasn't because he stubbed his toe.

I could hear his breathing get heavy, his hand leaving the tile next to the shower head. I stood there silently holding my breath with my jaw dropped for what seemed like a movie unravelling in my imagination using the sounds that I could hear from the room next to me. I could feel something sparking near my abdomen and I didn't want to admit to myself that I hoped he was thinking about me at this moment and not about that damn Rebecca, or Caroline or any other girl who has tried to put the moves on Stefan.

I could hear another long drawn out breath come from his lips, water slipping off the air escaping his mouth, so wet and perfect. His hand had reached his goal now, and slowly he started pleasuring himself. _Oh god. This is...hot!_ I could hear him lean his head on the hand that had now moved to the right side of the shower console, and letting a hiss escape him, he slowly started building. I don't know why but I started to imagine him doing the same thing while he looked at me, as I let the spray fall over the ridges of my breasts, panting as I watched him pleasure himself over the thought of me. I squeezed my legs a little, wondering how I started making myself a Stefan porno. But still I was frozen on the spot, listening to his soft moans from the next room with something stirring inside of me, needing to be quenched very soon before I joined him in there. My hand slipped down to my jeans and I ran a finger over the material that covered my most intimate parts. I couldn't help it, I imagined his hand moving there as he stroked himself, desperate for me. Wishing he could take me.

"Elena" I heard coming from the shower. It was so clear, the way he said it with a quiver, there was some need behind my name, and he pumped harder. My heart beat so fast after he said it and I slipped my hand into my jeans and began stroking my slick skin. God that made me so hot, was he thinking about the exact same fantasy as I stood here thinking about him, too? I didn't want to let myself care about whether he actually wanted me so badly or not, but then again that feeling came rushing through me and I stroked harder, feeling myself squirming because I wanted to come with him so badly, even if he didn't get to see me.

"Stefan" I let escape and I heard him stop. _Shit!_

He was still, breathlessly standing under the water, but I could tell that he turned his head to hear what I had accidently allowed to slip. I silently prayed that he would go back to what he was doing before I interrupted him. I should leave, I really should, I can't face him. Actually I think he would know exactly what I was doing here if he left the shower to inspect the noise he heard.

"Elena?" _Crap!_

I stood there for a moment trying to get my breathing under control and slowly, discreetly moving my hand out from my panties.

"Elena what are you doing?" he asked, and when I turned I was a little disappointed to see him wrapped up in a towel. But my eyes still raked over those amazing abs, his pecks, his chest, he was a walking work of art.

"I ran out of clothes, I was checking to see if there was any left from human Elena still lying around here" I quickly spat back, congratulating myself on my quick response to his question. But I knew he could hear my heart rattling restlessly like a bird in a metal cage. He wasn't going to miss the smell of my arousal or the way I said his name while he was in the shower.

_I just...needed...to get out of this room!_

"Anyway I couldn't find them so...whatever," I tried to walk past him nonchalantly; I didn't want to look him in the eyes because they always scared me. How much he knew about me, how much he knew I could still feel even though I had flipped my switch, I still felt the pull between us. I could never admit that to anyone, but he just knew.

"Wait" he grabbed my elbow as I walked past him. And I could feel the moisture from his hands, it was slick and it brought me back to 20 seconds ago when I was thinking about shower sex with him.

"What?" I asked back with a little too much relief that he didn't let me leave.

"I know what you were doing Elena" I looked up to him, and he seemed a little embarrassed himself that he had been caught thinking about me intimately. I didn't want him to, actually I hoped he always would. How could I even think that when I didn't want anything to do with anyone, when I didn't want to feel anything with well...anything?

I didn't reply but I could see the question in his eyes and I turned my head away from him. I couldn't answer his question and I didn't want to either.

I could feel him turn his body and his hand came up to stroke my cheek. Why was he doing this? I have done nothing to deserve his compassion. It angered me and I turned away from his touch, but his other hand turned my waist.

"You can't say it yet, but i know" he whispered, leaning closer to me and moving his hand to pull my hair behind my ear. I was suddenly really aware that he was still in his towel, wet and erect from moments ago. I tried not to look down, but when I did I noticed there was still a considerable bulge in between his thighs and I let out a shaky breath at thought of him so close to me this way.

"I..." stammering now I started shaking my head.

"If you can't say it, can I guess?" his voice was deep and provocative. I squirmed at the closeness of his hard body moving into me, his lips inches away from my neck, he dragged his fingers down the sensitive skin there and I shivered. I knew he could feel it because he swallowed hard and dragged them back up again to my lobe.

"You can't let yourself feel Elena, but you still want my body" he whispered like he had been through this himself, his lips grazed over the skin on my ear, and even though he was so close I still had to struggle to understand the words that he was saying over the blood rushing to my cheeks.

When I didn't answer he backed me up to the dresser, pressing his hardness into my thigh. I didn't pull away but I didn't encourage it either. I was so torn between what I was trying to remember about how I felt, to how my body was reacting to him. For the first time since I flipped the switch I wanted to feel something other than desire or thirst or a distraction. I wanted to feel every ounce of Stefan in the way that I used to , but I honestly couldn't remember anything about him except this gaping hole that was forming inside me as he looked down on me with those green emeralds

"You want me to touch you" his fingers never left my neck but now they were trailing down over my breasts, torturing me, slowly trickling down to my hip that was exposed. He ran the pad of his thumb over the skin there and I swallowed again. His eyes were still boring into mine, I wanted to leave, but I felt literally like my feet were planted to the ground.

"You want me to kiss you" his lips were so lose to mine now, if I moved even just a fraction they would be touching his and I know I would kiss him, I know I would get lost in him.

His mouth was opening and it looked like he was having a hard time stopping himself too, he stood a little taller which made are lips a little further apart but his forehead was pressed to mine and that seemed worse. Because his big powerful body was towering over me. And I wanted so badly to hook my legs around him and press my lips on his exposed chest. I wanted to taste his lips so badly, it made my mouth water.

"Could I...taste you?" he growled. _fuck_

I could feel my resolve crumbling, I could feel his tactic working, I wanted to feel more than pleasure with him, I wanted to call his name from the top of my lungs as I came, I wanted to do the same to him. To hear him say I was the only one.

"No" I pushed him off me, but his hands kept me still there. I didn't want to feel ever again and he was a bastard from provoking me into wanting to even try to turn it on.

"Stop Stefan" I whispered, pleading with me to let me go. His hands loosened and when I looked into his eyes, I could see he regretted what he had done. He stepped back and held on to his towel that had been shuffled around while he pinned me against the dresser. Without taking another look at me, he walked back into the bathroom. I could hear him, sit down, I could hear him sigh. I could imagine him with his head in his hands and I knew why.

I didn't want to examine why I knew, or why i felt the need to go in there, so I left. I can't feel, I don't want to .

* * *

**It's so hard to write a believable reunion considering the circumstances on the show at them moment. I appreciate all reviews ,feedback and I also love ideas for new story ideas. Let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

I tossed again counting to 20 in my head, I was so restless and I just wanted to go back to sleep but I couldn't. My incessant dream made me anxious and unsettled with myself. I tried to turn on my side and I wrap my arms around me, running them up and down my arms imagining it were his. I clamp my eyes shut and started trying to pant as though I was catching my breath. That was the part of the dream I didn't get to and it made me feel strange inside knowing that the girl in my dream seemed to know more about what she wanted than I did. I turned again, spreading my arms out on the large double bed, frustrated that I couldn't re capture the feeling again on my own.

So I turned one last time, planting my face in the middle of the pillow, and thought about my dream again.

_I ran my fingers down his back, he shuddered and I smiled at his reaction_

"_I will..." leaning down he placed a kiss on my neck, then my collar bone. My heart sped up, his hands tickled my outer thigh and I sighed in tortured bliss._

"_Love you like this forever" he whispered looking up at me, he let his lips trail from my collar bone to the top of my breast. I struggled not to squirm; I loved how he made me feel._

"_I'm never.." he trailed off again, tracing a line down my stomach. I smiled at how he was trying to get me to concentrate on what he was saying while he tortured me with his tongue. He loved doing that._

"_...Going to love anyone like you" his voice was sad, taken back by his sudden intensity I stroked my fingers through his hair soothingly, I couldn't think of any words so I simply nodded and tried to convey my happiness to him with a look._

"_Elena.." he shook his head and his lips closed over my nipple, I thought about his mouth, I thought about his words, I thought about my heart swelling as he soothed my skin. I wanted more, I wanted him again._

_Just as my fingers drifted to thread through his hair, my breath was long past casual. He looked up just as I looked down on him. He grinned at me and kissed his way down my breasts, to my belly. Just the thought of him moving down my body, his lips wet, his tentative tongue drawing love hearts on his journey down my smooth naval. I ached for him, and he let out a low warm chuckle on my skin like he knew it._

"_mmm, I want to make you feel like you make me feel Elena" his tongue dipped into my belly button and I gasped as he lightly nipped and massaged the skin of my abdomen._

_I groaned and closed my eyes, simultaneously pushing my hips up and pushing his head down..._

That dream always ended around there and I didn't know if I was thankful or disappointed. I jerked up and flung my legs over the bed.

I walked out of my room with the intention of visiting the freezer in the basement, but when I passed his room I hesitated. For some reason, I convinced myself that I should go up there and give out to him for his part in making me feel like I did. I wanted to hurt him, I wanted to make all of our stupid memories nothing to him and give him no hope whatsoever.

I knew he was asleep because of his breathing but I didn't want to admit to myself that I just wanted to see him. When I opened the second door at the top of the stairs I stood there a moment and watched him. I tried to stifle my smile, but he looked so adorable in the way he was sleeping. His biker boots were still on and his belt buckle was open along with the buttons on his jeans. I could see he was wearing grey boxer briefs, and I unconsciously licked my lips at the sight of them. His shirt had ridden up and I could see the skin of his abdomen right up to his belly button. Humanity aside, Stefan was delicious, anyone would be lucky to even see the perfection of his body.

I could smell whisky coming from his breath even as I stood at the doorway, which would explain why his boots were still on and his body was strewn along the bed with the linens tangling at his legs. I made my way around the left side of the bed, hoping he had consumed enough tonight not to stir from my close movements. I felt t a sort of piece being near him, and I wanted to lie for a second and just rest. I slowly lowered myself on the bed, being careful not to dip the mattress too fast. If he woke up I would be mortified.

Stefan took a deep breath and swallowed so I took that as a signal that he would not be waking soon. I rolled my eyes like I didn't care, but when I turned to my side and saw his peaceful face breathing lowly, something inside me began to hurt. I pressed my lips together, and I felt a prickle behind my eyes, he was so close that I could touch him. My hand moved up the linen and I softly grazed my index finger against his pinky. _What was I doing? _I guffed inwardly.

My eyes went back to his sleeping face and a sigh of relief passed through my lungs, just a few minutes and I would leave, I told myself. My eyes got heavy and I let myself close them for a second promising myself I wouldn't fall sleep.

When I woke up, I was a little surprised to find myself wrapped up in a white duvet and my view wasn't exactly what I was expecting. It was like waking up as my human self; I looked at the night stand beside me and saw a bracelet I had left here months ago and the clock reading 11am. _Shit!_

As the realization that I had fallen asleep on Stefan's bed started to hit me, I noticed that there was something heavy wrapped around my waist. I looked down to see Stefan's hand intertwined with mine, and when I shifted I could feel his body pressed against my back. I panicked for a second, wondering how I could get out of this unseen. I freed the arm that was trapped under my head and began shifting my body away from his.

"Wait" I could hear a whisper near my ear. My heart thudded knowing he was awake. What would he say? I was so scared that he would make me feel again; I wanted nothing more than to run away right now, I just wanted to forget about him and never look back.

"I need to go Stefan" I replied lowly, intending for my answer to sound harsh but my voice was unconvincing. I could hear him tense, his body was rigid against mine, but his arm tightened against me and it took everything inside me not to lean closer to him. I could feel his eyes on me from behind, and it burned my skin knowing he was trying to accept that I wanted to leave. He took a breath as if he was going to say something but he didn't, after a few moments he finally spoke.

"Can we just pretend for a little while" he asked, his voice was on the verge of breaking, and I was confused as to why he wanted to pretend. Maybe he had the same dream I had when I woke last night, too. Maybe it haunted him like it haunted me for hours afterwards. I decided to indulge him for a little while, reasoning with myself that it would benefit me too if I could sleep some more. And at first I was uncomfortable, because I didn't know what to do. But as his breathing evened and his body began to relax, I could feel myself curling up a little more into his arms and moving closer to his warm breath against my neck. After a while, his fingers stroked the skin on my arm and I wanted to purr against him.

My mind drifted to whether his jeans were still undone, I wondered if he had taken them off to make himself more comfortable and my stomach did that warming feeling again near my core. Just thinking about him...there...was tantalizing. I wanted to touch him right now. But I knew it wasn't a good idea.

I turned in his arms hoping I could shift my thoughts somewhere else, but that was a bad idea. I was resting on his chest now, and the smell was intoxicating, I loved his male odour even though it was mixed with bourbon I still closed my eyes and smelled again discreetly memorizing his scent.

I could hear his heart beat faster as my face turned into the soft material of his shirt, and it made me nervous. I wanted to know why but then again I didn't. I was still trying to understand why his arms made me feel so good.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked huskily, I didn't mean for it to sound so suggestive but somehow it did, and his heart beat faster. I wondered if it was because of our closeness or the way I asked the question that his heart was racing like he had been running.

He didn't respond for a long time, and I slid the hand that was resting casually on his lower back down to the curve at his hip and he shifted slightly.

"I was thinking...about kissing you" it was just a straight answer. He didn't say it like he expected me care about it, he said it like it was a far away memory that he was revisiting for a moment. But just the thought of him thinking about it made electricity travel down to my core and I swallowed hard, trying to push that feeling away. I didn't know what to say so I simply buried my head in his chest and let out a long sigh.

"Please don't" I said, muffling my response into his shirt. I could feel him nodding against me and I wanted just for a second to believe that I would be okay if I let myself truly feel what I had buried deep inside of me.

He held me tight, gingerly running his fingers through my hair and my hands travelled under his shirt and I felt the smooth skin of his lower back. I could hear myself humming but I was distracted by the feel of him to really care that he had turned me on my back. His lips were pressed to the skin of my neck and I unconsciously moved a little to let him nuzzle there. I know asked him not to kiss me, but technically he wasn't. We were just pretending, and I was okay with that. I closed my eyes and absorbed the feel of him, wondering how a few moments ago I felt uncomfortable with him holding me close to him.

His nose ran up and down the sensitive flesh on my neck, his lips grazing closely behind and it made my breathing shift from my relaxed lackadaisical response to his touches to something a little more ferverent. I shifted a little more and the blanket snapped back from where it was caught between our bodies, I could tell now he was, in fact, still wearing those jeans and I groaned when his legs spread apart and the section that was not buttoned was suddenly pressed between my legs.

_Oh god._

I stilled and I knew he noticed my reaction to how we ended up like this, actually I wondered myself how we ended up in this position. He began looking at me in the eyes like he was hoping he could find something in them, and I want to look away from his blazing gaze so badly but I can't and I can feel my eyebrows twitching in my stubbornness to not look away.

He brings his fingers to my lips and begins tracing them, slowly. It feels so incredible; I'm too scared to breathe in case he might stop.

"Sorry" he whispered gently, removing his fingers and squeezing his eyes shut

"I keep think about it" he presses his head into my neck and I'm starting to realize I've been thinking about kissing him too ever since he told me about what he was thinking. And I could tell it was so hard for him to pretend with me, I must have looked so real to him when he woke up and saw me sleeping next to him, and I silently cursed myself for hurting him. I'm not the same person he was once in love with and pretend or not that was the reality of this situation.

He lowers his mouth to the side of my head and I'm secretly hoping he presses his lips on my neck again, but he does one better. His lips press to my ear and he whispers

"I keep thinking about your kiss" I was holding a breath, and it shakily escaped me after he said that. His lips are at my neck again and it's hard for me to believe that this is pretend too. This seems more like passion then pretend, and I want so badly to tell him I feel it, but I can't. My teeth are clamped over my lower lip and my fingers have become rakes against his back.

I remember for a second why I didn't want this to happen and shake my head no, but just barely. He kisses my cheek and trails soft kisses around my mouth; I shake my head again and keep my eyes closed because I'm afraid of what I'll see when I open them. What truth will be revealed behind Stefan's expressive gaze.

He runs his nose all the way up to my jaw line and he's breathing just as heavily as I am, when he returns to my ear again kissing it lightly and turning his head to look at me, I open my eyes and he looks like he's about to speak, but he doesn't. Something passes between us in that second and my nerves are shot from every sensation that is him. From my head all the way down to my toes, my entire body and soul is screaming for him and I can feel a tear burning behind my eyes. I'm so stuck, I'm so miserable in this limbo that I feel literally trapped between two different worlds.

I place my hand on his neck and when I do I can feel his skin shiver from my finger tips. His tongue meets my neck and when I moan it send his body into a flurry of passion. He's kissing me harder now and I want him to, my eyes roll back when he comes up for air but trails his tongue all the way to my chin. And I know he's having a hard time kissing me, and it's starting to bother me how much I want to kiss him too.

Panting heavily he moves up my body and our eyes are in line, our lips a few inches apart, and he's looking at me like he's missed me for years. I surprise myself when I sigh and pull his head down so that our foreheads are touching. His hips turn and a little more weight falls in between my legs in that perfect way that we both groan. All of him, I can feel all of him on every nerve ending and I run my fingers though his hair and close my eyes. He starts slowly rocking against me and even though I'm wearing jeans and he's still in his boxer briefs, my mind trails off to the dream I didn't get to finish. I bite my lip and imagine him inside me, I imagine his length filling me whole and pushing me to the brink.

When I open my eyes, I can see his are open and watching me, he's still slowly rocking against me and every time he does our lips brush. Were not kissing but our lips are grazing so softly, I can feel mine tremble in a battle not to kiss him.

He shifts his hips again, and when he does it causes my head to roll back and my legs to tighten around his thighs.

"Oh Stefan" I wasn't even really aware that I was talking anymore, when I opened my eyes again his hands were on either side of my face, brushing my hair behind my ears. I'm looking at him in the eyes now, and the way he's looking at me doesn't scare me, actually it makes this all so real.

His rocking slows and my heart starts beating even faster at the thought of him stopping. I reach for the hand now placed on the pillow beside my head and plead with him with my eyes.

"Don't" I whisper so lowly I can barely hear it myself though our rushed breaths and the pounding of my heart. And it's such a definite feeling within me that I don't want this to stop. His eyes look worried, but then he swallows hard and takes a deep breath. I catch a glimpse of relief in his eyes before he starts kissing my cheek again, my jaw, my neck. Anywhere but my lips, like I asked.

He's moving faster against me now, reading so expertly how much I'm building, kissing me faster as my breathing becomes more erratic. And I'm holding my breath, and my hips flex up and were moving at a pace that's sort of embarrassing considering were both still wearing clothes. But I don't care, he stops kissing my neck and looks down on me, watching me. He's breathless, too and his small groans are making it hard to hold off this impending climax.

We're looking at each other, and I'm thinking about making love to him, I'm thinking about how good it would feel to have him inside me. I try to keep my eyes open, but the thought makes my eyes flutter closed and I fist the sheets at my sides and hear myself cry his name softly into his ear. I'm shaking as he rocks against me, I'm blissfully aware that he's telling me he loves me and that thought scares me for a split second, but I'm still rolling my hips into his, humming a positive response as my body uncoils in the slowest most tantalizing orgasm I have ever had. Even as he grinds his hips slowly up and down my core a ripple of pleasure courses through me and I'm so helpless right now. I can feel my grip like a vice around his neck and hair. I can hear myself panting so hard. That. Was. Amazing! His head is bent into my neck and somehow I'm watching myself from above and seeing what's happening. _Fuck_

I'm panicking. Did i really just...do that? Did i really just say and do these things with Stefan. My outer body experience is fucking with my head and the tears are rolling down my cheeks now and I can see a blurred image of Stefan looking at me. His voice is trying to penetrate my sudden panic attack.

"Elena" I can hear distantly. But I feel myself getting up, I feel the sobs rushing through me and I'm running out of this room, far away. My throat is so dry and I feel this pain inside me that I haven't felt in a long time. I can't. I can't do this.

**Please review, I do so enjoy knowing what you think :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I wrote about 5 different drafts of this chapter and just couldn't get into them as much as I did this one. Also, I know its cliche but the song I had imagined to be on in the background is clare de lune by Debussy. Which I know is a Twilight thing, but I loved that song way before the movie and the song inspired me to write this chapter. **

**Please leave your notes and comments, I appreciate all of them and they make me want to write more. I think this will be the closing chapter to Drawn Together unless someone has a suggestion that gets me excited about writing more : )**

I want to say that I feel nothing standing here. There's just some things you can't forget about though, even without feeling I remember this place being special to me as a human. I bite my lip and smile as my fingers run over the cold red stone of the brick wall right outside the boarding house. I know its special deep down but id rather concentrate on the bourbon in my hands, sit out here and sneak in through the back door like I have been doing the past few nights.

I keep contradicting myself, even when I stood outside my old house. Burnt to ashes with everything that ever meant anything to me inside, I let a tear fall down my cheek and pretended like it didn't happen, like I felt nothing for the house that I grew up in. I watch the sun rise every morning from the hill near the lake and deny that I don't see how beautiful it is. I let my body press against the man I once loved and pretend like I don't feel the love that still burns between us.

I can hear the music coming from the dining room and even when my eyes close to the memory of the sweet melody, I try to convince myself that I don't appreciate how sweet the progression is, how beautiful the notes piece together. It's moving to the chorus and I know it's his song, I can hear the dynamics meant for recreating a romantic movement through piano.

I remember Stefan feeling sad after this particular song was over. How he was always quiet after it. Back then I wondered what it would be like to hear such a beautiful song with such heightened emotions. But now I didn't have to try, I can feel it inside of me. Right now I can instantly see what Stefan was feeling when he listened to this...it was _us_. Our tragic souls encapsulated with one another whirling around and fighting to stay close.

I hadn't realised but my body had obviously responded to the beautiful rhythm and made itself to the hallway of the boarding house where the music was louder, clearer. I could feel tears filling my eyes as I slowly put one leg in front of the other.

xxxx

"_Tell me what you're thinking" The music has moved to the next track, and I'm lying here in his arms, covered by his hard powerful body. His face buried in the crook of my neck and I'm rubbing his back soothingly hoping he knows its okay to cry. I want him to know I understand, I want him to tell me what he feels._

_After a few moments he raises his head, looking at me with red eyes and I reach up to wipe the moisture from under his lashes. _

"_It's not really thinking as opposed to just feeling so much..." he trails off, looping a strand of my hair around his fingers and rubbing the skin on my neck longingly._

"_It's more that this song reminds me of how beautiful the world can be, it makes me feel like there is more to life than just...trying to make it to the next day..." he turns his head and looks at me with a smile on his lips and I want to reach up and kiss him. But instead I bite on my lip and force myself to nod for him to continue._

"_...it's that, I have everything I need right here" laughing a little, he kisses my nose and reaches for the remote to play the song again. "That...I love you and..." he's shaking his head now for what seems like disbelief and I'm almost crying myself at how romantic and intense he can be sometimes in the most perfect way. I can't find the right words to express how touched I am by how he feels, how much I feel for him, too._

_I clamp my lips between my teeth waiting for him to go on, but it's as though he's lost for words, this moment we are sharing together. Its unique, it's so raw._

"_God...I, I just want to make love to you right now" I smile and hook my arms around his neck, placing a tender kiss on his lips._

"_So do I" I whisper with an uneasiness to my voice because he this is so surreal, Stefan seems completely exposed, hiding nothing bare. And truth be told, I've wanted him ever since he turned this song on._

"_Put it on repeat" I whisper as his lips trail down my neck and I hook my legs around his hips._

_xxxx_

I open my eyes and I'm at the wood panel of the dining room entrance, the music is so loud. Its looped again and I smile at the sound and how beautiful it is. It's played about three times over now and each time it's made me move closer to the source. I look up and I see him. Standing shirtless in front of a roaring fire. I don't know if he's heard me, but I step a fraction closer into the room, eyeing his stance. He's leaning one hand on the mantle above the fireplace, the other holding an empty glass loosely in his hand.

The plains of his back are so rigid; my eyes narrow at the different shades of black and white and gold merging perfectly into the muscles defining his spine. My eyes travel further to the low slung denims on his hips and a hint of black just above them to seal the image of his rugged back side. He's swaying slightly and it's hard to tell whether he's swaying to the music, or if he's just tipsy from his drink.

I step closer and forget for a moment that we haven't spoken in so long, that we no longer share the connection we once had when this music played between us. But still, I feel like he needs to know that I can feel the beauty of it too, I don't want to make things better between us, I just want to tell him that I know. I know what I didn't know then and I feel it too. I'm right behind him now and he hasn't moved an inch, he's still swaying in front of the fire. His head resting on the arm leaning against the wood mantel above the fire. The fire is blazing and I feel my cheeks getting warm as I approach the flames that warm my cold skin.

Slowly I raise my hand gently to his back, my fingers touch his skin that shivers and shoulders that hunch at my touch. I bite my lip at his reaction and wonder if he knows it's me. Slowly I press my palm to his soft olive skin and breathe out a shaky breath. Eventually he relaxes, and I run my fingers down his back and to the black of his boxer briefs studying his exquisite body as I go. I step forward again and close my eyes as I press my cheek against his cool skin and take a deep laboured breathe into his sweet supple skin.

My arms mechanically twine around his waist and I can feel him shaking, I can tell he is crying and I hug him tighter. I told myself a few minutes ago I didn't want to soothe him, I didn't want to take on his pain, I never wanted to actually help him. But now as I stand here I cant help but feel like I need to just tell him it will be okay. That I never wanted everything to turn out this way.

The music fades out and I can feel him turning in my arms and I quickly move my hands to wipe the tears from my eyes. I look up and see his are damp too, red, like all those months before when we made love on his bed to this song. Without thinking I reach up and wipe his cheeks with the back of my fingers and lean in to rest my head on his chest as the song repeats again. I can't help it, I let myself cry, and I cry for everything I lost, I cry for everything that has happened to Jeremy, to my parents, to Jenna, everyone. I weep about who I have become and I sob at the thought that the man that I love is probably broken beyond repair.

"I know Stefan" I cry softly into the skin of his chest and his hands envelope me tightly, his fingers run through my hair.

"I'm so sorry Stefan...I..." he reaches for my face and pulls me up to look at him. And for once I let him, inviting his expressive eyes to boar into mine. We're both the picture of patheticness, I think to myself as we gaze into each other's tear stricken eyes for what seems like so long.

"You don't have to.." he says as he shakes his head and looks at me fervently, his fingers trace my lips and the song starts again and I cry a little that he's moving in to kiss me. His gentle lips press to mine and I moan at the electricity pouring through me. They move softly against me and I feel his forgiveness and acceptance in the few seconds of passion we are exchange.

When he pulls away I am awe stricken by how much I love him, how he has made me feel so utterly complete in a matter of seconds. How his kiss spoke to me in a way words never would, somehow I felt his relief, his forgiveness, his need for me still after all this time.

I look deep into his eyes, searching for any ounce of doubt in his features and wonder how we got here, how I still felt..._somehow_ even when I shouldn't have. Our lips are still grazing and I'm torn between his eyes and the need to press my lips to his again.

"Stefan..." I ask softly, breathing heavily against his mouth and licking my lips at the thought of his hard body next to mine.

"I need you" I say looking at him, hoping he can see that I know and remember a time that maybe I didn't understand the beauty of his words and what he meant by them. Knowing he was alone apart from the love we shared, that somehow loving one person was enough for him. He nods, answering my question with a look in his eyes that says I love you.

And were kissing now, lightly pressing our lips together. His hands seem glued to my hips and I move them upwards and encourage him to explore. He backs me up to the couch and my breath is heavy as I reach for his jeans and undo the buttons.

Our kisses are heated, sloppy and needy as he positions himself between my legs and looks up to stare at me with intense eyes. I can see them watering and I slowly reach up to run my fingers through his soft hair and move him back to my lips. I want to heal, I want to feel again, his eyes make me make me see the hope I thought was lost forever

"Make love to me Stefan" I whisper as he kisses his way down my neck and to my breasts. He seems hesitant, but I coax him to remove my jacket, my jeans, my tank and bra. In turn, I slowly move him to standing so I can fully remove his jeans, his socks and boxers.

I kiss my way up his thighs and move my hands to his hardness and stoke him longingly as he watches. His breathing is hard and it takes everything for me to concentrate on pleasuring him. Slowly I kiss my way up his chest, his neck and capture his lips in a deep kiss.

He walks me back until my calves touch the couch and we slowly lower ourselves down. His kisses move around my body, it's new and its old and I feel like I'm going to burst from the intensity of it all. His lips reach my core and my hands are instantly in his hair as I moan at the feel of his tongue on my world. His skilled lips move in a tantalizing rhythm and I want him inside of me. I've waited and denied myself of this for too long. I pull on his hair and urge him to kiss me. Quickly, he prowls over my body and grinds his hard body against my wetness and I mewl at the closeness of him near my entrance.

He lets out a soft groan in my ear as my fingers travel down his most sensitive area of him and desire shoots through me mixing with the intense love I have always felt for him even when I thought it stopped existing. I run my fingers over his smooth cheeks and pull him forward for him to take me. The songs ends and slowly starts again on the loop and we share a knowing smile at each other while gazing over this beautiful music that has seemed to have pulled us back together.

He locks his eyes to mine, his breath fast, and his lips parted in that way that I love so much. I reach my hand over to trace them again, and wrap my legs around his waist. Resting his forehead on mine, he lightly breathes on me for a moment, pressing against me but not moving inside just yet.

He lets out an exhale and again I feel myself tense with the anticipation and bite my lip as I stare at him stare at me.

"Nothing...compares to this.." He closes his eyes and presses into me and I cry out as I he fills me slowly, tentatively. I close my eyes and hold him tight trying to get myself to stop from crying out again, as the music becomes euphoric , rings in my ears and fills me with happiness. I realise this song will never be old to me; I will always feel the same way when I listen to it. Just like I will always love Stefan to the very epitome of my being. He drops his head to my shoulder, swallowing hard, biting back his own sounds of intensity as we listen and rock together.

Writing in restraint, sucking in quick breaths, we move together. It is so intense, our months of being apart, the loneliness, the ache, the want.

Knowing I was close and not wanting me to wait any longer, he leans his forehead on mine watching me as my eyes flutter closed.

"I love you" I can hear him whisper above me, I open my eyes to tell him I love him too but instead he pushes a little harder and the euphoria bursts through and I arch my back panting as I whimper and he hushes me with kisses.

"Love you, love you, love you" I repeat in his ear as I shake and shudder beneath him. He slows to let me recover for a moment. I stroke his hair as he kisses my neck and sooths me back to him.

"I love you so much" I whisper feeling tears run down my cheeks. My body is shaking from the contained burst of emotions and euphoria inside of me. When I look to him, his eyes are conveying so much love and lust and need. I lean in to kiss him passionately, fervently as he starts a new rhythm and we shake together in ecstasy, watching and loving each other in a way I never thought possible over and over again.

Afterwards we lie together, ensconced inside the music as we stroke and soothe each other into a humble sleep. I don't know what the future is, I don't know how long this moment of clarity will last, or how much time we have before the next disaster happens. But I do know that for the first time in a long time, I feel alive.

**What do you think? Reunions are really difficult sometimes, but I hope something like this happens in the show...within reason of course :). Reviews are always greatly appreciated.**


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